You can meet toxic people in all walks of life — in romantic relationships, at work, and in friendships. Toxic friends are energetically draining, hypocritical, and not worth your time.
But it can sometimes be difficult to pick up on the fact they are causing damage.
Finding a good friend is difficult, especially as we get older. People often become so accustomed to certain behaviors that they don’t notice the negative impact.
- “Backhanded” Compliments
One of the most common toxic behaviors in a relationship is a backhanded compliment. A person will disguise an insult as a compliment. For example, “It’s so funny that you got this job even with your big nose” or “It’s amazing that your boy still did not notice your crooked legs“.
- They compete with you
Whether it’s your job promotion, a romantic partner, or a new class you’re doing, your toxic friend will compete with you. They want to compete with you, even if you’re not competing with them.
- Negative Talk About Others
Sometimes friends need to vent and that’s okay. But if you find your friend constantly talking negatively about someone else they consider a friend, chances are they’re also talking about you behind your back. A good friend will be honest about issues in the relationship and won’t spread gossip or personal information they know the other person doesn’t want shared.
- Only Around When They Need Something
A true friend is around through the good times and bad. They are there to support you and understand that the relationship involves giving as well as taking. A bad friend will only pop up when they want something from you. Start saying no and you should be able to get rid of them easily.
If you find yourself in a bad friendship, first, you don’t have to go through all of the dirty details. But point out something that is not right without blaming the other person. For example, “I don’t think we share the same interests or lifestyle anymore.”